iPhones (1,2,3,4,5): Your madre y padre bought you another iPhone, whoopity frickin' doo! Who cares?
Jeep Liberties: I couldn’t care less how beautiful you think your car is, well reality check. It’s not a bugatti. Like seriously, you don’t even have four wheel drive. Grow up.
Sprite: C’mon. Really? Are you sick? No, only losers drink that. Man up, Shelly. Speaking of, remember last week when you were sick? Your inner man was brought out.
Clubbing: No matter how much you are having fun partying it up, be safe with that stuff. Sleeping in school and bragging isn’t attractive.
Seat Check!: Make sure all of your farts aren’t that powerful to break your seats. This is like the 5th time today.
Motherly Love: You’re always complaining about your mom. Why don’t you just shut up and move out? You’re 18, for real.
Judging: Don’t even get me started.
Senior Parking: Who cares? We’re all going to the same place. School. I’m a senior and not once have I ever parked in Senior Parking. Quite frankly, I don’t even know where it is located.
Bringing me drinks: I can’t complain about that.
Sanitation: Your hand sanitizer smells like a port-a-pottie. Take a shower.
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